Thursday, April 17, 2008


I've been reading the book Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Although I'm only a couple chapters into the book I can already see how disrespectful I am to Josh sometimes. I don't intend to be disrespectful but I don't set out to be purposefully respectful therefore I end up being disrespectful. (Man, I had that all said out in my head in a much better way but when I went to write it I totally forgot what I was thinking) The book says to ask myself "Is what I am about to say or do going to feel disrespectful to Josh?" Maybe I should write that out about 50 times and put it all over the house. =)

This book is amazing. As I said I'm only a couple chapters into the book and I keep feeling like this guy is talking very specifically to me. and about me. and about Josh a little too. =)

Another book I read this week was "My Steve" by Terri Irwin. Good book. I laughed out loud at times and found out more about their lives than necessary at times but all in a bit of fun. Terri said that early on in her relationship with Steve she would always say yes to whatever he suggested. She said this led to some interesting adventures but she never regretted it. She did however regret that the one time she didn't say yes was just before he died. They had been on a holiday and he suggested extending it for two days. She didn't immediately say yes and the matter was dropped. The next day she and the children headed one way and Steve another and that was the last time they saw him alive.

That made me think, how often does Josh suggest things and I think of a million excuses why it won't work, shouldn't happen, etc. And there's the times where he suggests something and I think (and sometimes say) how ridiculous an idea that is and how in the world did he come up with such a stupid thing. Hmmmm.....disrespectful? I think so.

I have this little war that goes on inside me. A part of me loves to be organized and neat and tidy and a part of me is lazy and hates to clean. I really don't like to tidy up when things don't have a place. Everything must have a place and if it doesn't then I don't even know where to start and the mess accumulates. Anyway, the organized part of me is also a should we say this...controlling. I like to know of plans way in advance and then I plan everything about it. If we are going somewhere over the holidays I want to know two weeks earlier so I can figure out exactly what we are doing, when we are leaving, what I need to pack and about 50 other little things. Josh on the other hand is a "throw a few things in the bag and she'll be right" kind of person. So often he'll give me a general idea "Let's go to Brisbane over the Easter holidays" and leave it at that. I on the other hand need to know exactly what we'll do each day, where we are going to stay, what clothes I need to bring and end up overpacking and over planning. That's me. This is just background to the whole me struggling with saying yes to what Josh suggests. But I think this is something I need to do. I need to let Josh lead our family. I need to learn to follow and respect. And it can all start by realizing that all my planning/controlling isn't the most important thing. Will the children remember the time we packed up and went Underwater World and Brisbane or will they remember that I had everything all planned and we had to do it in a certain time schedule and wear the clothes on the right days etc? (no, I'm not actually quite that controlling) They're gonna remember the times we went to the park and had pancakes for dinner and the times we went for a walk and had dinner late. I need to be better about telling Josh yes because that's what I want them to remember not some Mom that had to have everything done at the right time in the right order and all plans had to be okayed three weeks in advance.

Not to say that I am throwing out all routine. Just that changing things is good sometimes. And I need to let Josh lead.

Mom gave me the Anne of Green Gables books when I was there 2 years ago and I bought the Little House on the Prairie set last year. I've been looking for more books that I read when I was younger that are good books that I want on my bookshelf for the girls to read. So last week on Ebay I found some Happy Hollister books. Good memories reading those. I want to find some Bobbsey Twins books and also the original Boxcar Children book. From Christian Book Distributors I have recently bought Little Women and Little Men and I found The Secret Garden and Heidi at the discount bookstore in Brisbane. As far as picture books go I collect the Curious George books, Little Golden Books and Arch Books.

Do you have any recommendations for good kids' books? Or books for me?

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