Reality

**as I write this, there are two days worth of dishes in the sink (to be fair we haven't been home much these two days), a load of laundry on the couch waiting to be folded, dinner still on the table, and three little girls have just gone to bed after being warned of the paddle.

A friend wrote me an email the other day and in it mentioned that from my blog it sounded like I was content. That set me thinking. And I keep sitting down to write this post and haven't gotten it out yet. This will probably sound a bit scattered and rambly but, hey, what's new? =)

Am I content? not totally. Does this mean my blog is one of those that seems to only show the positive side of things? I hate those blogs that make it seem like everything is rosy posy and inspires equal amounts of guilt and envy. But why do I blog? (this seems to be a popular question this week as Saminda wrote about the same thing) In reality I blog to share our family happenings with far flung family and friends. =) So, in the spirit of sharing our lives here's some little scary truths.

• I bought myself that sign in the picture up the top of this post. It often works the way it is supposed to--reminds me not to make my family wish they lived in the desert. However, occasionally, it makes me wish they would go away and live in a desert and let me be contentious and fretful BY MYSELF.
• We're having a few issues with the girls. C believes she knows everything (I thought that happened at 13 not almost 6) and tells us what she thinks we should be doing. She also has become very sneaky when she is doing something wrong. E thinks that if she pretends she didn't listen then she doesn't have to do what she's been told. She also thinks she should only have to do something if the other girls are doing it and is very concerned when she gets in trouble that everyone else should be in trouble too. B has brought out her defiant, stubborn little self that we've seen glimpses of all along. Screaming and tantrums are a daily occurrence.
  
• I'm pretty sure I'm a failure as a homeschool mom. But I'm going to keep trying.
• I'm definitely a failure as a housecleaner.
• I'm pretty sure I spend too much time on the computer.
• The heat/heavy rain combo is killing parts of my garden. My cucumber vines are under attack from something too. This year's garden will almost be a write-off (except for billions of tomatoes) but that's okay. We've learned some stuff and will keep trying.
• I don't watch the news or read the newspaper. Too depressing.
• The girls got to take money from their banks to the store today. They each bought a little craft kit of some sort. I'm sorta dreading doing it with them but at the same time love the fact that they love to make stuff and they want to give their things away after they make them.
• Josh told me yesterday that he is happy with me and how things are. I was glad for that but actually got a little cranky with him because he isn't giving me any motivation to get stuff done.
  

Those sound a little depressing after reading over them. I will admit (as I told Cassie last time we talked) I've been in a little bit of a funk lately. And especially tonight I'm super tired and HOT and have dishes and laundry, etc. (see above) to do. But we're okay. I haven't been able to have every part of the house clean at the same time for about 3 weeks. My goal this weekend is for that to happen. And I know that I feel better when that happens. And then I'll get to make a crafty mess and not feel guilty for ignoring my other priorities. I'll be fine. As soon as I crawl out from under the dishes and laundry. And here's to turning the air conditioning on in the bedroom so I can sleep in a nice cool clean room. Ahhhhhhhh...... I'm feeling better already. =)

p.s. Sorry I missed your birthday Jess.